i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
