Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
zippers are such a cool invention
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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