I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize