He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
