i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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