i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
