You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
