his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How drunk are you?
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