Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
