I want to stick my p in your. b.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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