I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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