i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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