Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
