You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
