i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is wine microwaveable?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
