Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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