we're blogging at a bar
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
