You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
