I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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