i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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