I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
