he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
