have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
