perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
