what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's rum buckets o'clock
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
