Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
