is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
