he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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