Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
