What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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