Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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