Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
