I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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