I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize