Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sobbing to NWA
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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