But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
