***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
