good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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