My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
