apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
