My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
