those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
