don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
