I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
