every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
