Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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