Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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