Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
