Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my being single is dangerous.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize