I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
