I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Come see our sink grown plant.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
