so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
