Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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