I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize