the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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