I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
