Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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