Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
