I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
